A LETTER TO MY FIRST-BORN SON
Last night, you were squished between me, this big baby bump, and all the couch pillows as we cuddled before I tucked you into bed. I looked down as you held my hand and tapped your fingers against mine. I laid there in awe of the fact that you were mine and felt so completely and utterly whole. Just then, your little brother kicked and I instantly started to cry. They were tears of happiness and sadness all at once. In less than two weeks, you will no longer be an only child and your whole works is going to be turned upside down. As happy and excited as I am to see you take on your new role as big brother, I mourn the loss of you being my only baby.
Mommy and Daddy hoped and prayed for you, and we were blessed (and continue to be blessed) beyond measure. We hoped and prayed to be able to give you a sibling, and in the blink of an eye, your brother is on his way. While I can’t promise that this change is going to be easy, I can promise you this:
I promise to love
I will love you unconditionally, just like I have from the day you were born. I vow to love you with a love so intense that it multiplies exponentially with each passing second. My love for you will not diminish or decrease, nor will it be split in equal parts with each child we bring into this world. Your love will always be your love, and its presence will always be known.
I promise to protect
I will protect you from the monsters of this world; whether they are living under your bed, in the attic, or the unfortunate evils this world has come to know. I may not always be able to stop bad things from happening to you, but I am going to do my best to make sure we face the bad together.
I promise to do my very best
I vow to be the best Mommy for you that I can be. Perhaps more importantly, I promise to acknowledge when I’m not and apologize accordingly. The coming days are going to be hard on all of us and I may lose my patience or not give you the attention you deserve, but know that I am giving you my all at ALL times.
I promise to love you for you
“Comparison is the thief of joy,” they say. I promise to do my best to not compare you to your brother (and vice versa) in a negative light. I will always love you for who you are and never for a second will I wish you were different. I will not let label nor criticism tarnish your spirit, and hope that you won’t either.
I promise to always be excited to see you
The moment you entered our lives, the most favorite part of my day became any moment I spent with you. Once I went back to work, I counted down the minutes until I could see your face again and hold you in my arms. I vow to always be excited to see your face, no matter what kind of day I have had or how rough it may have been.
I promise to embrace every sticky-faced kiss and every leap into my arms as your tiny feet race toward me calling, “Mommy!” One day those things will stop, and I will miss them dearly.
So baby boy, with all the change that lies ahead, please remember my love for you. I just know you are going to be the BEST big brother and cannot wait to see you take on this adventure with Mommy and Daddy.